Young people are more exposed to difficult events than we might think—whether the challenge is community violence, natural disasters, or other challenging topics. Even when these events don’t happen close to home, young people may hear about them through school, social media, or conversations with friends. As a result, they may feel scared, sad, angry, confused, or overwhelmed.

Parents, caregivers, and other trusted adults play a critical role in helping children cope. The most important support we can offer is not a perfect explanation for the events of the day, but a calm and consistent presence, honest listening, and reassurance that they are not alone.

Start With Yourself

Before talking with children about tough topics, pause and check in with your own emotions. Children learn how to manage big feelings by watching adults. It is okay for kids to see that you are sad or upset; the important thing is showing them how to cope in healthy ways. Take a few deep breaths, ground yourself, and reach out to your own support system if needed.

How Kids Understand Tough Stuff

Children’s reactions depend on their age and development. Young children think in the here-and-now and may show stress through behavior rather than words. School-age children worry more about their own and others' safety. Teens can understand complex issues like violence, injustice, and public policy, but this awareness can also feel overwhelming.

Coping skills grow over time. Younger children rely on adults to help regulate emotions, while older kids and teens are learning strategies of their own—but still need guidance, reassurance, and connection.

Talking With Kids

There is no single right way to have these conversations. Start by asking what your child already knows and how they are feeling. Listen more than you talk. Use simple, honest, age-appropriate language and avoid sharing graphic details or worst-case fears.

It’s also important to limit repeated exposure to scary news and social media. Too much information can increase anxiety, especially for younger children.

Age-by-Age Support

• Early Childhood & Preschool: Maintain routines, offer extra comfort, limit media exposure, and follow your child’s lead in conversations about difficult topics.

• Elementary School: Clarify misinformation, encourage questions, reassure them about safety, and highlight helpers and positive community responses.

• Middle School: Expect strong emotions, talk about social media and misinformation, and support healthy ways to help or take action.

• High School: Engage in thoughtful discussions, respect different healthy coping styles, and encourage constructive action.

The Big Picture

Across all ages, children benefit from calm adults, predictable routines, honest conversations, and opportunities for connection. While we can’t protect kids from all hard realities, we can help them build resilience by listening, validating their feelings, and showing up with care and consistency.

In July 2024, the Minnesota Department of Health (MDH) awarded a Substance Misuse and Suicide Prevention Grant to Cook County Public Health and Human Services (PHHS). This grant supports the Substance Misuse and Suicide Prevention Coalition, a dedicated group of community members working together to prevent substance misuse and Suicide. This collective effort aims to raise awareness, change policies, provide education, and support protective factors for youth. If you are interested in learning more about this initiative, contact Rocio Rivas, Cook County Public Health Educator, at  [email protected] or 218-264 9236. 

Resources

• https://parenting.extension.wisc.edu 

•  Spark & Stitch Institute - Parenting for Courage and Connection

• https://macmh.org/resource/supporting-kids-impacted-by-violence/

• https://digitalwellnesslab.org/family-guides/family-guide-to-disinformation-and-misinformation-online/

• https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/nine_tips_for_talking_to_kids_about_trauma

• https://www.wcte.org/education/pbs-kids-resources-for-helping-children-deal-with-trauma/

• https://www.joiningforcesforchildren.org/resources/
  https://www.nctsn.org/resources/talking-to-children-when-scary-things-happen
  https://www.nctsn.org/resources/creating-supportive-environments-when-scary-things-happen

• https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/coping-with-violence

• https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-violence-in-the-news