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Children’s Mental Health: Strategies When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Go to School

Jul 28, 2024 06:35AM ● By Editor
Image:  NAMI

From NAMI Minnesota - July 18, 2024

There’s little more frustrating for parents than a child who doesn’t want to go to school. They may be moving too slowly, becoming emotional about the cereal that used to be their favorite, yelling or screaming, or even flat out refusing to go to school. For some kids this happens every once in a while, but for others it can become a serious pattern. 

You’ve tried talking, pleading, bargaining, or demanding, yet nothing works. You may be at your wit’s end. You may be worried that there’s something wrong with your child. With school starting soon, now is the perfect time to learn ways to help your child when they don’t want to go to school. 

When a child is anxious about going back to school after a long break, vacation, or sickness, the best advice from experts is to get them back to school right away. Talk to your child about what is making them nervous. Let your child know that you understand their feelings with words like “I know you’re scared to go back to school”. Then, instead of using a “but” try using an “and” so it sounds more like, “I know you’re scared to go back to school AND you need to go to school so let’s go talk to the teacher together and figure it out.”

Sometimes a child has so much anxiety about school that they start feeling sick. These kids may go to the nurse a lot during the day or start telling you they have headaches, stomach aches or are too tired. Older kids may text you during the day asking to go home because they’re sick.

A great place to start is to see a doctor to rule out any illness or injury. It’s also time to do some detective work to see if you can find out if something is going on with your child at school, at home or with friends. If illness is ruled out and there are no obvious reasons why they continue to refuse to go to school, it’s time to get professional help. 

The first step is to have a diagnostic assessment by a mental health professional. Refusing to go to school can sometimes be tied to mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, or panic disorder. The evaluation will give you and your child’s therapist a good view of what’s going on so that they can create a plan that works for your child. 

Hopefully your child will not experience back to school anxiety, but it’s helpful to know the warning signs and what to do.

 

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NAMI Minnesota is offering several free online classes in August and September to help parents prepare for the school year and to support their child’s mental health. Register here these upcoming or other virtual and in-person classes. Be sure to also sign up for our newsletters.

 

Back to School Anxiety 

Learn about the signs that your child might be feeling anxious about going back to school, and what parents and caregivers can do before, during, and after school to help ease their child’s back-to-school anxiety.

 

You’re the Expert: How to Successfully Advocate for your Child

This class stresses the value of parent engagement and advocacy to ensure the best care and treatment for your child in the doctor’s office, the mental health system, and in public education settings. We focus on self care so parents and guardians can effectively advocate for their loved one in all settings. This is a 1.5 hour class.

 

Special Education: Helping Students Succeed

Learn the basics about the special education process (evaluation, Individualized Education Plans, students’ rights) and how complex it is. You will understand the laws and rules that impact children with a mental illness or in the Emotional or Behavioral Disability (EBD) category such as 504 Plans, the use of seclusion and restraints, and discipline policies. You will leave with a better understanding of how you can help your child succeed in school. This is a two-hour class and is for parents or caregivers of children.

 

Trauma Reactions and Post Traumatic Growth in Children and Youth

Learn how to identify traumatic experiences in a child’s life, understand trauma reactions and foster healing and growth in children and youth who have experienced trauma.

 

Coping with Kids

This is a one-hour class that talks about the developmental responses youth may have. We will discuss 5 mental health tips for families and resources in the community.

 

By Greta Kjos, Director of Children’s Programs at NAMI Minnesota

Greta provides leadership and guidance for NAMI Minnesota’s children’s, youth and young adult programs. She brings extensive knowledge of the children’s mental health systems through her own lived experience as a parent of a child living with mental illnesses. Her passion for helping others led her to write a book and start her own business where Greta created mental health programs, wrote curriculum and offered coaching. As a former attorney and corporate leader, she brings a wealth of experience in leadership, strategic planning, and collaborative partnerships. As with all of NAMI’s staff, she too is passionate about NAMI’s mission and in particular supporting children and families affected by mental illness.

Student Voices

 

 

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