Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 11 hours 31 min ago
"A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name."
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time."
"If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging."
"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help."
"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."
"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
"When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence."
"He was a genius - that is to say, a man who does superlatively and without obvious effort something that most people cannot do by the uttermost exertion of their abilities."
"I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."