Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 4 hours 28 min ago
"That's the funny thing about havin' a kid. They come with their own set of problems; make everything else you were worried about seem kinda silly."
"Cynically speaking, one could say that it is true to life to be cynical about it."
"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other."
"On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away."
"We can have facts without thinking but we cannot have thinking without facts."
"We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head."
"The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced."
"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something."
"The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums."
"A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500."
"It's not a matter of whether or not someone's watching over you. It's just a question of their intentions."
"A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time."