Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 8 hours 31 min ago
"The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else."
"To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture."
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity."
"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home."
"Men of genius do not excel in any profession because they labor in it, but they labor in it because they excel."
"Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better."
"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."
"Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."
"Television � a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done."
"Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public."
"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on."
"The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'"
"She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table."
"A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
"Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless."