Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 8 hours 33 min ago

George Carlin

Wed, 09/14/2016 - 7:00pm
"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Oscar Wilde

Wed, 09/14/2016 - 7:00pm
"One's real life is often the life that one does not lead."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Krishnamurti

Wed, 09/14/2016 - 7:00pm
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
Categories: Fun Stuff

James M. Barrie

Wed, 09/14/2016 - 7:00pm
"I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not it seems to me that he missed the opportunity of his life."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mel Brooks

Tue, 09/13/2016 - 7:00pm
"Good taste is the enemy of comedy."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Miguel de Cervantes

Tue, 09/13/2016 - 7:00pm
"I say that good painters imitated nature; but that bad ones vomited it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Fran Lebowitz

Tue, 09/13/2016 - 7:00pm
"Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Douglas Adams

Tue, 09/13/2016 - 7:00pm
"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Dame Edna Everage

Mon, 09/12/2016 - 7:00pm
"Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Anonymous

Mon, 09/12/2016 - 7:00pm
"Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Sir Richard Francis Burton

Mon, 09/12/2016 - 7:00pm
"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself."
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Unknown

Mon, 09/12/2016 - 7:00pm
"A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Andrew Carnegie

Sun, 09/11/2016 - 7:00pm
"One of the serious obstacles to the improvement of our race is indiscriminate charity."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Blaise Pascal

Sun, 09/11/2016 - 7:00pm
"Since we cannot know all that there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Elias Schwartz

Sun, 09/11/2016 - 7:00pm
"Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Richard Diran

Sun, 09/11/2016 - 7:00pm
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
Categories: Fun Stuff