Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 55 min ago
"The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth."
"If one sticks too rigidly to one's principles, one would hardly see anybody."
"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little."
"Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision."
"Ah! Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle!"
"I am against using death as a punishment. I am also against using it as a reward."
"A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members."
"No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar."
"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
"There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are."
"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability."
"A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat."
"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"
"It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong."
"Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough."