Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 9 hours 18 min ago
"I am against using death as a punishment. I am also against using it as a reward."
"He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met."
"Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths."
"We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it."
"Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity."
"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."
"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. "
"A prose writer gets tired of writing prose, and wants to be a poet. So he begins every line with a capital letter, and keeps on writing prose."
"It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste."