Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 49 min ago
"Exercise relieves stress. Nothing relieves exercise."
"Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor."
"Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything."
"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."
"How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin."
"Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough."
"Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you."
"I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
"Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors."
"The case has, in some respects, been not entirely devoid of interest."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific."
"You give my regards to St. Peter, or whoever has his job, but in Hell."
"Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image."