Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 2 min ago
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities."
"A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."
"I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not it seems to me that he missed the opportunity of his life."
"All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things."
"When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him."
"Civilization is the process of reducing the infinite to the finite."
"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."
"Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner."
"Man is tormented by no greater anxiety than to find someone quickly to whom he can hand over that great gift of freedom with which the ill-fated creature is born."
"What a pity, when Christopher Colombus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it."
"A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation."
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do."
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail."
"Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination."
"Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves."
"Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible."