Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 3 hours 43 min ago
"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him."
"Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain."
"What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens."
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
"Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface. But sometimes, there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie."
"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live."
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
"At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; At 45 they are caves in which we hide."
"It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor."
"Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners."
"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."
"The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, 'Is there a meaning to music?' My answer would be, 'Yes.' And 'Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?' My answer to that would be, 'No.'"
"I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words."
"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it."
"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."