Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 2 hours 19 min ago
"The phrase "action speaks louder than words," is most easily proven by a swift kick to the genitals."
"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action."
"A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body."
"Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them."
"Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them."
"Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later."
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
"The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum."
"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were."
"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature."
"I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood."
"The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it."
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
"All the President is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway."