Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 8 hours 16 min ago
"A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck."
"The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotation."
"On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does."
"Books to the ceiling,/ Books to the sky,/ My pile of books is a mile high./ How I love them! How I need them!/ I'll have a long beard by the time I read them."
"Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out."
"The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand."
"I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise."
"Fortune can, for her pleasure, fools advance, / And toss them on the wheels of Chance."
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
"The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel."
"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
"Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so."
"A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool."
"What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance."