Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 3 hours 51 min ago
"When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice."
"The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth."
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
"Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is."
"Dance like it hurts,/ Love like you need money,/ Work when people are watching."
"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election."
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
"A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world."
"It is a sign of a creeping inner death when we no longer can praise the living."
"In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time."
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."
"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language."
"Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none."
"Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man."