Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 52 min ago
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail."
"Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination."
"Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves."
"Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible."
"Here's a tip to avoid death by celebrity: First off, get a life. They can't touch you if you're out doing something interesting."
"Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man."
"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own."
"Television � a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done."
"In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from."
"A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."
"Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had."
"We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic."
"Thought is only a flash between two long nights, but this flash is everything."
"I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on."