Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 2 hours 24 min ago
"Nothing is more characteristic of a man than the mann in which he behaves toward fools."
"Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable."
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--/ I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference."
"There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking."
"Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it."
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
"Books to the ceiling,/ Books to the sky,/ My pile of books is a mile high./ How I love them! How I need them!/ I'll have a long beard by the time I read them."
"Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds."
"There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class."
"He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks."
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
"I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens."
"Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made."
"An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it."
"In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain."
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."