Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 17 min ago
"The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill."
"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
"Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there."
"We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics."
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
"After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager.""
"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
"The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking."
"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
"When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary."
"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet."
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
"What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn't come every day."
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language."