Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 2 hours 19 min ago

Devin J. Monroe

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 7:00pm
"The phrase "action speaks louder than words," is most easily proven by a swift kick to the genitals."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Frank Tibolt

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 7:00pm
"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Martin Mull

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 7:00pm
"The town where I grew up has a zip code of E-I-E-I-O."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Unknown

Fri, 08/15/2014 - 7:00pm
"A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Lewis Mumford

Thu, 08/14/2014 - 7:00pm
"Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

H. L. Mencken

Thu, 08/14/2014 - 7:00pm
"Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jane Caminos

Thu, 08/14/2014 - 7:00pm
"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William H. Mauldin

Thu, 08/14/2014 - 7:00pm
"I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Randy K. Milholland

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 7:00pm
"Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Garrison Keillor

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 7:00pm
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Graffito

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 7:00pm
"I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Dan Quayle

Wed, 08/13/2014 - 7:00pm
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Yogi Berra

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 7:00pm
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Havelock Ellis

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 7:00pm
"The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum."
Categories: Fun Stuff

John F. Kennedy

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 7:00pm
"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Tom Robbins

Tue, 08/12/2014 - 7:00pm
"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Tom Hanks

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 7:00pm
"I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mark Twain

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 7:00pm
"The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jack Handey

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 7:00pm
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Harry S Truman

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 7:00pm
"All the President is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway."
Categories: Fun Stuff