Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 10 hours 32 min ago
"An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex."
"Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone."
"God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project."
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--/ I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference."
"The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos."
"The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race."
"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark."
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."
"Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen."
"The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything."
"I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way."
"One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork."
"Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink."
"I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some."