Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 15 min 54 sec ago

William Goldman

Fri, 03/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"Life is pain, anyone who says differently is selling something."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Brendan Behan

Fri, 03/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence."
Categories: Fun Stuff

George Santayana

Fri, 03/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Tallulah Bankhead

Fri, 03/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"I'm as pure as the driven slush."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Umberto Eco

Thu, 03/19/2015 - 7:00pm
"The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Anatole France

Thu, 03/19/2015 - 7:00pm
"To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Harlan Ellison

Thu, 03/19/2015 - 7:00pm
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Bill Cosby

Thu, 03/19/2015 - 7:00pm
"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William Hazlitt

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 7:00pm
"Men of genius do not excel in any profession because they labor in it, but they labor in it because they excel."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Andre Gide

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 7:00pm
"Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Samuel Butler

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 7:00pm
"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

George Bernard Shaw

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 7:00pm
"Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Ernie Kovacs

Tue, 03/17/2015 - 7:00pm
"Television � a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Edgar Watson Howe

Tue, 03/17/2015 - 7:00pm
"Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Beryl Pfizer

Tue, 03/17/2015 - 7:00pm
"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Roy Blount Jr.

Tue, 03/17/2015 - 7:00pm
"The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'"
Categories: Fun Stuff

Henry James

Mon, 03/16/2015 - 7:00pm
"She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Fred Allen

Mon, 03/16/2015 - 7:00pm
"A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mark Twain

Mon, 03/16/2015 - 7:00pm
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Thomas A. Edison

Mon, 03/16/2015 - 7:00pm
"Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless."
Categories: Fun Stuff