Quotes of the Day

Syndicate content Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 17 min ago

Peter Ustinov

Sun, 02/12/2017 - 6:00pm
"The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Benchley

Sun, 02/12/2017 - 6:00pm
"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Alan Turing

Sun, 02/12/2017 - 6:00pm
"Machines take me by surprise with great frequency."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mickey Friedman

Sun, 02/12/2017 - 6:00pm
"Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Bill Vaughan

Sat, 02/11/2017 - 6:00pm
"We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Herm Albright

Sat, 02/11/2017 - 6:00pm
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William S. Burroughs

Sat, 02/11/2017 - 6:00pm
"After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager.""
Categories: Fun Stuff

Will Durant

Sat, 02/11/2017 - 6:00pm
"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Paula Poundstone

Fri, 02/10/2017 - 6:00pm
"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Louis Vermeil

Fri, 02/10/2017 - 6:00pm
"The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Lewis B. Frumkes

Fri, 02/10/2017 - 6:00pm
"How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children"
Categories: Fun Stuff

Ambrose Bierce

Fri, 02/10/2017 - 6:00pm
"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William Wrigley Jr.

Thu, 02/09/2017 - 6:00pm
"When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Dave Barry

Thu, 02/09/2017 - 6:00pm
"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Charles M. Schulz

Thu, 02/09/2017 - 6:00pm
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Albert Einstein

Thu, 02/09/2017 - 6:00pm
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
Categories: Fun Stuff

George Bernard Shaw

Wed, 02/08/2017 - 6:00pm
"What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn't come every day."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Dorothy Parker

Wed, 02/08/2017 - 6:00pm
"She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Niels Bohr

Wed, 02/08/2017 - 6:00pm
"Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mark Twain

Wed, 02/08/2017 - 6:00pm
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language."
Categories: Fun Stuff