Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 5 hours 42 min ago

Jeff Foxworthy

Tue, 07/21/2015 - 7:00pm
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Will Rogers

Tue, 07/21/2015 - 7:00pm
"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Douglas Adams

Tue, 07/21/2015 - 7:00pm
"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Simeon Strunsky

Tue, 07/21/2015 - 7:00pm
"Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jacques Derrida

Mon, 07/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend."
Categories: Fun Stuff

H. L. Mencken

Mon, 07/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Half

Mon, 07/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"Free advice is worth the price."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Marvin Minsky

Mon, 07/20/2015 - 7:00pm
"Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Sun, 07/19/2015 - 7:00pm
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Carolyn Wells

Sun, 07/19/2015 - 7:00pm
"Actions lie louder than words."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Alfred Adler

Sun, 07/19/2015 - 7:00pm
"It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Wolfgang Pauli

Sun, 07/19/2015 - 7:00pm
"This isn't right. This isn't even wrong."
Categories: Fun Stuff

David Richerby

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 7:00pm
"The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Peter McArthur

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 7:00pm
"Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Dave Barry

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 7:00pm
"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Cary Grant

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 7:00pm
"I improve on misquotation."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Harry S Truman

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 7:00pm
"All the President is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Heinrich Heine

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 7:00pm
"There are more fools in the world than there are people."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Charles Luckman

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 7:00pm
"The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Groucho Marx

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 7:00pm
"My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one."
Categories: Fun Stuff