"There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president."

"He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes."

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."

"I like life. It's something to do."

"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election."

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish."

"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."

"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength."

"She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table."

"The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name."

"On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

"Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion."

"I believe that professional wrestling is clean and everything else in the world is fixed."

"I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up."

"I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."

"The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you."

"'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

"There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker."