Quotes of the Day

Syndicate content Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 31 min ago

Henny Youngman

Wed, 09/17/2014 - 7:00pm
"My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William Faulkner

Wed, 09/17/2014 - 7:00pm
"The artist doesn't have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don't have the time to read reviews."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Carl Reiner

Wed, 09/17/2014 - 7:00pm
"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jonathan Winters

Wed, 09/17/2014 - 7:00pm
"Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others."
Categories: Fun Stuff

G. K. Chesterton

Mon, 09/15/2014 - 7:00pm
"By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Bertrand Russell

Mon, 09/15/2014 - 7:00pm
"Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact."
Categories: Fun Stuff

H. L. Mencken

Mon, 09/15/2014 - 7:00pm
"Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Arthur C. Clarke

Mon, 09/15/2014 - 7:00pm
"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Joan Rivers

Sun, 09/14/2014 - 7:00pm
"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Emile Chartier

Sun, 09/14/2014 - 7:00pm
"There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Arthur Schopenhauer

Sun, 09/14/2014 - 7:00pm
"If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Ken Olsen

Sun, 09/14/2014 - 7:00pm
"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Stanislaw J. Lec

Sat, 09/13/2014 - 7:00pm
"Advice to writers: Sometimes you just have to stop writing. Even before you begin."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Orben

Sat, 09/13/2014 - 7:00pm
"Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Alfred North Whitehead

Sat, 09/13/2014 - 7:00pm
"I have suffered a great deal from writers who have quoted this or that sentence of mine either out of its context or in juxtaposition to some incongruous matter which quite distorted my meaning , or destroyed it altogether."
Categories: Fun Stuff

John Mason Brown

Sat, 09/13/2014 - 7:00pm
"He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mae West

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 7:00pm
"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Pablo Picasso

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 7:00pm
"Everything you can imagine is real."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Pierre Beaumarchais

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 7:00pm
"It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Frank Zappa

Fri, 09/12/2014 - 7:00pm
"Art is making something out of nothing and selling it."
Categories: Fun Stuff