Quotes of the Day

Syndicate content Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 7 hours 37 min ago

Anonymous

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 7:00pm
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Blore's Razor

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 7:00pm
"Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier."
Categories: Fun Stuff

James M. Barrie

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 7:00pm
"I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not it seems to me that he missed the opportunity of his life."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Sir Thomas Beecham

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 7:00pm
"A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Eddie Izzard

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 7:00pm
"If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death."
Categories: Fun Stuff

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 7:00pm
"In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Russell Baker

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 7:00pm
"Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Tom Stoppard

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 7:00pm
"If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Norman Mailer

Mon, 05/25/2015 - 7:00pm
"There is no greater importance in all the world like knowing you are right and that the wave of the world is wrong, yet the wave crashes upon you."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Edward Teller

Mon, 05/25/2015 - 7:00pm
"A fact is a simple statement that everyone believes. It is innocent, unless found guilty. A hypothesis is a novel suggestion that no one wants to believe. It is guilty, until found effective."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Douglas Adams

Mon, 05/25/2015 - 7:00pm
"Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mark Twain

Mon, 05/25/2015 - 7:00pm
"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Will Rogers

Sun, 05/24/2015 - 7:00pm
"That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Woody Allen

Sun, 05/24/2015 - 7:00pm
"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Sun, 05/24/2015 - 7:00pm
"You cannot slander human nature; it is worse than words can paint it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

George Bernard Shaw

Sun, 05/24/2015 - 7:00pm
"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Eric Hoffer

Sat, 05/23/2015 - 7:00pm
"Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Unknown

Sat, 05/23/2015 - 7:00pm
"The wages of sin are unreported."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Johnny Carson

Sat, 05/23/2015 - 7:00pm
"Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Andrew S. Tanenbaum

Sat, 05/23/2015 - 7:00pm
"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from."
Categories: Fun Stuff