Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 34 min 10 sec ago
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."
"Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months."
"Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true."
"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf."
"Nothing has an uglier look to us than reason, when it is not on our side."
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience."
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
"The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability."
"Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money."
"Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy."
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him."
"Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain."
"What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens."
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
"Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface. But sometimes, there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie."
"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live."
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."