Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 36 min ago
"What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."
"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
"The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better."
"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."
"Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder."
"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories."
"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
"Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."
"The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel."
"New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move."
"A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance."
"Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home."
"To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer."