Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 8 hours 16 min ago

Henry Fielding

Thu, 08/25/2016 - 7:00pm
"Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity than they really are."
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Dan Quayle

Thu, 08/25/2016 - 7:00pm
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
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James Thurber

Thu, 08/25/2016 - 7:00pm
"Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead."
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Ed Gardner

Thu, 08/25/2016 - 7:00pm
"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."
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Garrison Keillor

Wed, 08/24/2016 - 7:00pm
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
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Ronald Reagan

Wed, 08/24/2016 - 7:00pm
"Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying."
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Alfred North Whitehead

Wed, 08/24/2016 - 7:00pm
"Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it."
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Noelie Altito

Wed, 08/24/2016 - 7:00pm
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."
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Thomas Mann

Tue, 08/23/2016 - 7:00pm
"War is a cowardly escape from the problems of peace."
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Peter Drucker

Tue, 08/23/2016 - 7:00pm
"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."
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Timothy Leary

Tue, 08/23/2016 - 7:00pm
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."
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Nancy Astor

Tue, 08/23/2016 - 7:00pm
"One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time."
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Evan Esar

Mon, 08/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them."
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Thomas H. Huxley

Mon, 08/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense, differing from the latter only as a veteran may differ from a raw recruit: and its methods differ from those of common sense only as far as the guardsman's cut and thrust differ from the manner in which a savage wields his club."
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Alice James

Mon, 08/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience."
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Oscar Levant

Mon, 08/22/2016 - 7:00pm
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
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Malcolm Forbes

Sun, 08/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem."
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Noel Coward

Sun, 08/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
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Wilson Mizner

Sun, 08/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up."
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Maureen Murphy

Sun, 08/21/2016 - 7:00pm
"The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces."
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