Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 3 hours 23 min ago
"But in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."
"There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators."
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
"Ah! Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle!"
"Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise."
"I keep the subject of my inquiry constantly before me, and wait till the first dawning opens gradually, by little and little, into a full and clear light."
"In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time."
"The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois."
"Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side."
"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise."
"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."
"A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience."
"A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time."