Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 7 hours 57 min ago

Stephen Colbert

Sun, 05/29/2016 - 7:00pm
"There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good."
Categories: Fun Stuff

W. Somerset Maugham

Sun, 05/29/2016 - 7:00pm
"Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Emily Dickinson

Sun, 05/29/2016 - 7:00pm
"They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Edgar Bergen

Sun, 05/29/2016 - 7:00pm
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
Categories: Fun Stuff

Richard Lewis

Sat, 05/28/2016 - 7:00pm
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Oscar Levant

Sat, 05/28/2016 - 7:00pm
"I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'"
Categories: Fun Stuff

Phineas Taylor Barnum

Sat, 05/28/2016 - 7:00pm
"Every crowd has a silver lining."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Dan Quayle

Sat, 05/28/2016 - 7:00pm
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Elizabeth Aston

Fri, 05/27/2016 - 7:00pm
"Love has no place in a lawyer's office."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Douglas Adams

Fri, 05/27/2016 - 7:00pm
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which."
Categories: Fun Stuff

H. L. Mencken

Fri, 05/27/2016 - 7:00pm
"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Lily Tomlin

Fri, 05/27/2016 - 7:00pm
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Helen Rowland

Thu, 05/26/2016 - 7:00pm
"The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jane Caminos

Thu, 05/26/2016 - 7:00pm
"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."
Categories: Fun Stuff

John Ciardi

Thu, 05/26/2016 - 7:00pm
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Miss Piggy

Thu, 05/26/2016 - 7:00pm
"Never eat more than you can lift."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Bernard M. Baruch

Wed, 05/25/2016 - 7:00pm
"Never answer a critic, unless he's right."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Oscar Wilde

Wed, 05/25/2016 - 7:00pm
"I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Johann von Neumann

Wed, 05/25/2016 - 7:00pm
"In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Blore's Razor

Wed, 05/25/2016 - 7:00pm
"Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier."
Categories: Fun Stuff