Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 8 hours 16 min ago
"Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity than they really are."
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
"Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead."
"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
"Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying."
"Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it."
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."
"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."
"One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time."
"Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them."
"Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense, differing from the latter only as a veteran may differ from a raw recruit: and its methods differ from those of common sense only as far as the guardsman's cut and thrust differ from the manner in which a savage wields his club."
"One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience."
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
"It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem."
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
"The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces."