Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 6 hours 31 min ago
"My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."
"The artist doesn't have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don't have the time to read reviews."
"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."
"Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others."
"By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece."
"Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact."
"Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another."
"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp."
"There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them."
"If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it."
"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home."
"Advice to writers: Sometimes you just have to stop writing. Even before you begin."
"Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral."
"I have suffered a great deal from writers who have quoted this or that sentence of mine either out of its context or in juxtaposition to some incongruous matter which quite distorted my meaning , or destroyed it altogether."
"He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace."
"It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them."