Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 2 hours 44 min ago
"The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer."
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
"Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule."
"The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side."
"You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light."
"Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions."
"The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know."
"The only obligation to which in advance we may hold a novel, without incurring the accusation of being arbitrary, is that it be interesting."
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."
"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?"
"What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living."
"Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head."
"The more things change, the more they remain... insane."
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."