Quotes of the Day
Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 10 hours 56 min ago
"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down."
"If you think something is boring, try doing it for two minutes. If you still think it's boring, try it for four. If you still think it's boring, try it for eight, then sixteen, then thirty-two, and so on and so forth. Soon enough you'll find that it's really not boring at all."
"I loathe the expression "What makes him tick." It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm."
"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
"When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package."
"It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously."
"Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other."
"We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact."
"To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself."
"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."
"Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense, differing from the latter only as a veteran may differ from a raw recruit: and its methods differ from those of common sense only as far as the guardsman's cut and thrust differ from the manner in which a savage wields his club."
"The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up."
"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
"They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum."
"Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation."
"The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of friendship or affection."
"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations."
"I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don't understand."