Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 34 min 10 sec ago

G. K. Chesterton

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 7:00pm
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Bill Tammeus

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 7:00pm
"Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Solomon Short

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 7:00pm
"Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true."
Categories: Fun Stuff

H. L. Mencken

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 7:00pm
"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf."
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Halifax

Mon, 07/28/2014 - 7:00pm
"Nothing has an uglier look to us than reason, when it is not on our side."
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George Bernard Shaw

Mon, 07/28/2014 - 7:00pm
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience."
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Rita Rudner

Mon, 07/28/2014 - 7:00pm
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
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Tom Lehrer

Mon, 07/28/2014 - 7:00pm
"The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability."
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Jules Renard

Sun, 07/27/2014 - 7:00pm
"Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money."
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Henry Kissinger

Sun, 07/27/2014 - 7:00pm
"Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy."
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Oscar Wilde

Sun, 07/27/2014 - 7:00pm
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
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Bill Cosby

Sun, 07/27/2014 - 7:00pm
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
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Thomas Szasz

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 7:00pm
"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him."
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John F. Kennedy

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 7:00pm
"Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain."
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Benjamin Disraeli

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 7:00pm
"What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens."
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Orson Welles

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 7:00pm
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
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Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jed Whedon

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 7:00pm
"Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface. But sometimes, there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Henry David Thoreau

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 7:00pm
"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live."
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Benjamin Franklin

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 7:00pm
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
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Alan Dean Foster

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 7:00pm
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting."
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