Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 4 hours 39 min ago

Evan Esar

Wed, 12/07/2016 - 6:00pm
"Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings."
Categories: Fun Stuff

George Carlin

Wed, 12/07/2016 - 6:00pm
"It's never just a game when you're winning."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Philip Guedalla

Wed, 12/07/2016 - 6:00pm
"Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Chester Bowles

Wed, 12/07/2016 - 6:00pm
"Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Mae West

Tue, 12/06/2016 - 6:00pm
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Leslie Nielsen

Tue, 12/06/2016 - 6:00pm
"'Who are you and how did you get in here?' 'I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.'"
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robert Benchley

Tue, 12/06/2016 - 6:00pm
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
Categories: Fun Stuff

King Farouk of Egypt

Tue, 12/06/2016 - 6:00pm
"The whole world is in revolt. Soon there will be only five Kings left--the King of England, the King of Spades, The King of Clubs, the King of Hearts, and the King of Diamonds."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Peter Ustinov

Mon, 12/05/2016 - 6:00pm
"I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Robertson Davies

Mon, 12/05/2016 - 6:00pm
"Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Albert Einstein

Mon, 12/05/2016 - 6:00pm
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Carl Sandburg

Mon, 12/05/2016 - 6:00pm
"I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Al Franken

Sun, 12/04/2016 - 6:00pm
"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Sun, 12/04/2016 - 6:00pm
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
Categories: Fun Stuff

H. L. Mencken

Sun, 12/04/2016 - 6:00pm
"The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Sam Levenson

Sun, 12/04/2016 - 6:00pm
"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped."
Categories: Fun Stuff

P. D. James

Sat, 12/03/2016 - 6:00pm
"It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life."
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W. L. George

Sat, 12/03/2016 - 6:00pm
"Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Jerry Seinfeld

Sat, 12/03/2016 - 6:00pm
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Phineas Taylor Barnum

Sat, 12/03/2016 - 6:00pm
"Every crowd has a silver lining."
Categories: Fun Stuff