Quotes of the Day

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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page
Updated: 20 min 14 sec ago

Seth Hoffman

Sun, 08/31/2014 - 7:00pm
"Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who can't make up their own minds."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Eddie Izzard

Sun, 08/31/2014 - 7:00pm
"If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Frank Lloyd Wright

Sun, 08/31/2014 - 7:00pm
"Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Erica Jong

Sun, 08/31/2014 - 7:00pm
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Gerald R. Ford

Sat, 08/30/2014 - 7:00pm
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been."
Categories: Fun Stuff

H. L. Mencken

Sat, 08/30/2014 - 7:00pm
"Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Charles Baudelaire

Sat, 08/30/2014 - 7:00pm
"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree."
Categories: Fun Stuff

W. Somerset Maugham

Sat, 08/30/2014 - 7:00pm
"Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Gregory Thomas Garcia, Elijah Aron, Jordan Young

Fri, 08/29/2014 - 7:00pm
"They wouldn't call it falling in love if you didn't get hurt sometimes, but you just pick yourself up and move on."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Malcolm Forbes

Fri, 08/29/2014 - 7:00pm
"It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Franklin P. Jones

Fri, 08/29/2014 - 7:00pm
"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Oscar Wilde

Fri, 08/29/2014 - 7:00pm
"It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Henny Youngman

Thu, 08/28/2014 - 7:00pm
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Frederick Locker-Lampson

Thu, 08/28/2014 - 7:00pm
"The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful"
Categories: Fun Stuff

Adrian Mitchell

Thu, 08/28/2014 - 7:00pm
"Most people ignore most poetry / because / most poetry ignores most people."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet

Thu, 08/28/2014 - 7:00pm
"Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them."
Categories: Fun Stuff

John Clarke

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 7:00pm
"Who is more busy than he who hath least to do?"
Categories: Fun Stuff

Victor Hugo

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 7:00pm
"There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher."
Categories: Fun Stuff

Groucho Marx

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 7:00pm
"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."
Categories: Fun Stuff

William Ralph Inge

Wed, 08/27/2014 - 7:00pm
"A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors."
Categories: Fun Stuff