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Lake Superior has its own Twitter account – and it's even sassier than Mount St. Helens'

Feb 09, 2018 01:45PM ● Published by Editor

Photo: David Jones, Star Tribune 

Lake Superior is deep into a Twitter battle with Mount St. Helens.

Politicians love Twitter (or at least one of them does). So do media types, movie stars, sports fans and people who like to spout off about most anything.

But they are people.

So the sight of geologic features tweeting as themselves is a little weird. For lakes, mountains, volcanoes and deserts, stony silence apparently is an outdated metaphor.

In truth, bays and canyons have Twitter accounts due to enterprising humans. The accounts circle the globe: @MtEverestSEA@GrandCanyonFLG@UpperPeninsula, even @KarltheFog in San Francisco, to name a few. Some have an environmental agenda, or merely want us to know how fun they are.

But, Twitter being Twitter, sniping can ensue.

A recent dust-up set Lake Superior against a range of peaks from Oregon to Nepal. And while not exactly Minnesota Nice, @LakeSuperior is proving to be no pushover.

The Twitter tiff began when that infamous volcano, @MtStHelensWA, recorded dozens of earthquakes, then tweeted: “I’m back, [rhymes with riches].” In all caps. Sheesh.

To which @LakeSuperior responded: “Bruh, I’ve been here the whole time.”

Muk drop.

The bickering has gone on for days.

@LakeSuperior tweeted: “Your ash creates suffocation and death. My water creates nourishment and life.”

@MtStHelensWA spewed: “My eruptions enrich the soils and create new life for our world. You are a puddle in the ground.”

Earth piled on.

@GrandCanyonFLG bragged, “No joke, humans pay to see me. @LakeSuperior is so cheap, they give it away for free.” Keeping it classy, the canyon’s profile reads: “I’m a giant crack in the earth, just like the one on your backside.”

Granted, @LakeSuperior kind of asks for it, given its profile: “I am the greatest lake of all time. G.L.O.A.T.”

But the lake delivers, tweeting back to @GrandCanyon: “You wouldn’t exist without water cutting through you like a knife.”

What are we to do with these earthly Twitter accounts? Laughing seems a good idea. (Read our interview with @LakeSuperior here.)

Consider how @MtStHelensWA went foothill-to-toe with President Donald Trump, once tweeting: “Leave Twitter to me, Donald. #MAGMA.”

Then there was @LakeSuperior’s response to news that New Zealand granted a volcano, Mount Taranaki, the same legal rights as a person. (@MountTaranaki also has a Twitter account but, perhaps tellingly, has never tweeted.)

The ruling acknowledges that the Māori tribes consider Taranaki an ancestor. If someone harms it, that’s now the same as harming the tribe.

Linking to the news story, @LakeSuperior tweeted: “OK, it’s time to give me the legal rights of a person. @JustinTrudeau I’m looking at you to make this happen.”

When all is tweeted and done, these geological conversations do little harm and — at least in @LakeSuperior’s case — may even help.

“From what I’ve observed, there is a lot of divisive language and hatred online,” @LakeSuperior lapped when contacted via e-mail. “In a world that’s always arguing back and forth, I want to be the glass of fresh water.

“Additionally, I really hope to remind people of the importance of water and our ecology. When we appreciate nature, it creates stronger connections, not only with Mother Earth, but with each other.”

Now that’s a Great Lake.

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